Kuya, I'm sure you'll be happy that we all have decided to grant you last wish, be resting next to Berto.
It's been tough for all of us to come to one circle and talk about what we need to do in order to grant your wish. Everyone has their own opinion and went for it without discussion with the whole family.
I was finally able to come to my senses that this will be our last service to you as our big brother. Ate and I decided to split the cost for the digging part. I decided to talked to ate first if she would agree. I was relieved when she called me back to tell me that she will. And then I called neneng to figure out how and when I can talk to manay. At the end of the day, I was able to talked to manay and she agreed to wish your grant and she's happy about my effort.
I could've decided this at first if I was included in making decission by Jenelyn. I gave her a bit of my part of frustration. She is one fiesty kid of yours. She wasted her money on some place that you didn't want to be at. So I told her that I will find money to grant your wish. I asked her if she would find money to contribute 18,700 that we need and she said "i don't have money anymore". I am not sure if how much her parents-in-law gave her. I know they did but Jenelyn didn't inform/mention it us to us at all. It's a shame that she showed not respect to manay, neneng and all. I told her she should've double confirm with us of whatever she heard and whatever she decided and to make sure we all agreed.
But, in any event , we are trying our best to give you what you wanted. We will make you happy, don't you worry. I hope you tell "dong" that we said hi and to tatay too. Don't be partying too much over there..hehe
Herb sent half of 18,700pesos as our part. Ate supposedly to send hers at the end of this afternoon via Western Union. And to add some more happiness, I was able to talked to manay Aurora and she said she will text me this afternoon after she sends her donations via Western Union also. And I really hope she will come thru. As you know it's difficult to find money.
It's a kao's at neneng's house as you may know. All of your kids are there plus their kids. But happy to see that there are quite a bit of people coming around at night to give you and us company.
I might have to say that there will be no way that Daday will be around before you go. I tried my best to covinced Neneng to find her but I got too imotional with her and Inay knew how I felt about her being with you when you go. At least I and Ate are in our best behaviour and won't trow tantrum.
I hope to God she is also alright. I really do. Me and Ate will certainly missed the day but you know we are too far away. I wish we have lots of money..
bye for now kuya.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Thursday, January 17, 2013
RANTING
My time is so consumed of what matters to me. The list will be too long if I were to start writing them down.
For one thing I am so bothered right now and this is because of who I have become. It's difficult for me just to turn my head and look the other way. I have brothers and sisters and mother.
A ripple of how we are brought up comes to who we became. I am a mother now and have been a good samaritan to my mom, brothers and sisters. extensively helping them financially.
I am not responsible for my brother's well being since he has wife and kids and his kids having kids. But like I said, I am not responsible but he and his wife and their kids with the grandchildren, all living in my house.
I bought that house so mother can have shelter instead of living in a box.
Kuya, I am very sorry.K
At 6 am every morning is when we get up to get matt ready for school and aslo for Herb to get ready for gym. Quite early but that's how goes. Being responsible is to learn at young age and no matter how early it is, matt gets up to get ready for school.
And yesterday, Wednesday, jan 16 that early morning, I did what i always do, get to kitchen and look at my phone to see if any emails from neneng. I got a miss call from Din-din at 5:30 am and left me message. I hurriedly checked my voicemail and found out she has read on Facebook that Jenelyn had posted on her page that you have passed away.
I called her right back and confirmed, you have passed away. She told me that she will call me on her lunch break to get some news and she did. She's very comforting kid and I'm so proud of her.
After I made coffee, Herb hugged me tight and felt the love and compassion from him. I cried on his shirt and he cried on my shoulder. It has reminded him about his mom. And he uttered, "I'm sorry" and I cried even more. After a bit, I tried to called Neneng many times and finally I was able to get her on the phone.
She's confirmed that you've succumed to life. She's happy that she's with you that last moment with our sister Manay and your son Jun-Jun. I am sorry but I think you are in a better place now and for sure way better than us here right now.
I knew it would be our last time all together as living siblings when I saw you in November. God knows how much I want to help out in my heart in my actions. I hope you are not mad at me. At least to know that you were able to lived in my house until the end made me not so guilty.
The few days I had with you at Neneng's house were the most remembered. I bragged about how good I am in fixing little things around the house to you and one thing that morning was putting a door lock on Inay's room. You really had a good laugh at my performance. You came over where i had put the lock on and you felt it and then you said "beng the person that will want to get in can still unscrew the lock you put on..hahaha.. I laughed with you of my work. So you specifically walked me through it and you were so proud of me that I was able to do it..I will never forget that.
Other thing that I hope Boyax remember for the rest of his life is that when you taught him and his son how to conncet lights and that. It was something that I will remember all the time. Even though you couldn't see but you use you hands to feel tools and what you were trying to do to show us and boyax how to do things and for that I am so proud to be able to have in my heart and mind.
It's Thursday night there in neneng's house. I was on the phone with her for hours. She's glad to have someone to talk to and somewhat gave her company. I heard few taxi drivers came by and hang around for the whole night with you. Inay is happy to see the 3 tables were full of people and friends played cards amongst themselves to pass time.
I am sorry and hope you are having a great time with Tatay, Berto, and many others who joined The Almighty God.
Peace..
PS. I thank God for Irene. Without her sending me over there,(to fetch her mother) I would not have that opportunity to be united with all. It's a shame in my part I didn't stick around until the papers get straightened out and I am very ashamed of that.
And yesterday, Wednesday, jan 16 that early morning, I did what i always do, get to kitchen and look at my phone to see if any emails from neneng. I got a miss call from Din-din at 5:30 am and left me message. I hurriedly checked my voicemail and found out she has read on Facebook that Jenelyn had posted on her page that you have passed away.
I called her right back and confirmed, you have passed away. She told me that she will call me on her lunch break to get some news and she did. She's very comforting kid and I'm so proud of her.
After I made coffee, Herb hugged me tight and felt the love and compassion from him. I cried on his shirt and he cried on my shoulder. It has reminded him about his mom. And he uttered, "I'm sorry" and I cried even more. After a bit, I tried to called Neneng many times and finally I was able to get her on the phone.
She's confirmed that you've succumed to life. She's happy that she's with you that last moment with our sister Manay and your son Jun-Jun. I am sorry but I think you are in a better place now and for sure way better than us here right now.
I knew it would be our last time all together as living siblings when I saw you in November. God knows how much I want to help out in my heart in my actions. I hope you are not mad at me. At least to know that you were able to lived in my house until the end made me not so guilty.
The few days I had with you at Neneng's house were the most remembered. I bragged about how good I am in fixing little things around the house to you and one thing that morning was putting a door lock on Inay's room. You really had a good laugh at my performance. You came over where i had put the lock on and you felt it and then you said "beng the person that will want to get in can still unscrew the lock you put on..hahaha.. I laughed with you of my work. So you specifically walked me through it and you were so proud of me that I was able to do it..I will never forget that.
Other thing that I hope Boyax remember for the rest of his life is that when you taught him and his son how to conncet lights and that. It was something that I will remember all the time. Even though you couldn't see but you use you hands to feel tools and what you were trying to do to show us and boyax how to do things and for that I am so proud to be able to have in my heart and mind.
It's Thursday night there in neneng's house. I was on the phone with her for hours. She's glad to have someone to talk to and somewhat gave her company. I heard few taxi drivers came by and hang around for the whole night with you. Inay is happy to see the 3 tables were full of people and friends played cards amongst themselves to pass time.
I am sorry and hope you are having a great time with Tatay, Berto, and many others who joined The Almighty God.
Peace..
PS. I thank God for Irene. Without her sending me over there,(to fetch her mother) I would not have that opportunity to be united with all. It's a shame in my part I didn't stick around until the papers get straightened out and I am very ashamed of that.
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